fucked up.

i dont know who am i to him. i dont know where do i stand in his heart. i wanna ask him. but im too scared to lose everything that we have now. scha, just go with the flow like you always do. ok.? deep deeeeep deeeeep inside, i do fucking love you. im jealous if you mention ur ex's name. im jealous if you talk bout her. but who the hell am i to stop you from talking. im a just a darling. well, i hope not. but i dont know. erm...he understands me a lot. he helped me a lot. and i do believe that i also did the same thing. but maybe its just a friends thingy, and not more than that. well i hate this feeling. the feeling you have when you are first time being in love with your own bestfriend. its like, a new thing to me. coz i never fell in love with my own darling likt this. i mean, before this i had a crush on my darling too. but it was nothing coz i had a boyfie back then. but now, i have him. and only him. so, i dont know. im scared. im confused. im fucked up. ):